Push Past Fear and Move Into Purpose with Catherine Andrews
Life coach and intentional living expert Catherine Andrews shares how she transformed her successful-on-paper life into a purposeful, spiritually attuned journey. She provides tangible tips and techniques for how we can all follow suit, pushing past deep fear, self-judgement, and shame—even embracing what feels delusional but is really a sign of true desire—to find inner trust, alignment, and live the life that’s meant for us.
Show Notes:
Visit Catherine’s website, catherinedandrews.com
Subscribe and listen to The Sunday Soother
Learn more about morning pages journaling from Julia Cameron's The Artist's Way
Read about Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)
Learn about the manifestation technique Future Scripting here and here
Check out Catherine’s services, including 1:1 coaching, courses like Practical Spirituality, and more
Join Catherine’s new Sunday Soother Membership
Find Catherine @candrews on Twitter and Instagram @catherineandrews
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Nicole: Welcome to Here For Me, a podcast about the power of choosing yourself. I'm Nicole Christie, and I'm honored to be here with you to share life altering stories, lessons-learned, and advice from leading experts that will help you show up for yourself with the love, honor, compassion and encouragement you give to others. Because just as we say, “I'm here for you” to show we care for someone. Saying “I'm here for me” to ourselves, is the best form of self-care. Today I'm talking with Catherine Andrews. Catherine is a writer and life coach, whose courses, coaching and podcast and newsletter The Sunday Soother help her clients and community move on from perfectionism, people-pleasing and second guessing their needs, emotions and decisions so they can live authentic, intentional lives. Catherine's holistic approach to coaching and development alongside her refreshing self-awareness, humor and candor is what makes her so approachable and effective. She helps her clients with mindfulness, meditation, body practices, self-care tactics and boundary setting, and is an expert in intentional living, which she defines as designing your dream life and living soulfully, and on purpose. While she calls herself a life coach because it's the most well-known term for this work, she believes she's really a healer and space holder, and I couldn't agree more. It's an honor to meet her and have this conversation. And I can't wait for you to learn about her and from her. Catherine, welcome to Here For Me.
Catherine: [00:01:40] Thank you so much. I'm so excited to be here.
Nicole: [00:01:42] I discovered your podcast and newsletter, The Sunday Soother maybe two years ago and love everything that you share. We've exchanged messages a little bit, but it's wonderful to meet you and I'm just so honored to have this conversation. So this season we're talking about detours, and as an avid follower of you and your work, I know you experienced a detour in your late 30s that set you on your current path, both professionally and personally, with lots of twists and turns along the way. And just for some context for listeners, you went from nearly two decades in the corporate world. You had senior leadership roles and managed teams. You were making decisions out of fear, and moved to making decisions from an authentic, confident place that really set you on this path as a coach and healer. So walk us through what you experienced and what you were feeling as you went through that time.
Catherine: [00:02:34] So I was in my late 30s, so I'm 43 now, so this is 5 or 6 years ago and I had corporate burnout and I didn't like my job anymore and I thought that was totally normal and was trying to force myself back into liking my job and thinking that I was the problem, not my job. So I was applying to other jobs. I was realizing. At the same time, though, I had been in a corporate context, like you said, of communications and writing and editing for almost 20 years, and that had really just fallen flat for me. I had given up my own creative and writing desires and skills to do writing and editing for other people. So I was feeling really depleted creatively. I was realizing the only part of my job that I liked was managing the people who worked for me and think this is a very common moment for many people who are high achievers like I am, and I know that you are, that put a lot of identity and value into their career and into their work. And at some point, I've seen this in so many people. You hit a little bit of a wall. And what happened for me is I stepped back.
Catherine: [00:03:41] I kind of evaluated everything. I said I was going to give myself a year while I took a life coaching certification and figure out what to do. And as that certification went on for a year and I kind of did more self-reflection and had a little bit of a personal awakening, I realized it was time for me to step out and become an entrepreneur and a life coach. When you have been in the corporate world in Washington, D.C. for 20 years, it sounds like the craziest thing you could do and extremely cheesy haha. And I was like, I'm really going to leave behind being a senior director at so-and-so place so I can be an online life coach, like talking about my life on Instagram. Like I had a ton of shadow about that, a ton of embarrassment and, you know, sense of fear of being judged about that. But I was basically kicked onto that path by the universe and I was screaming the whole way. But I finally got the guts to leave that corporate job when I was 39. So when I was 40 years old, I restarted my career as a professional life coach. But it was really scary.
Nicole: [00:04:40] Yeah. And how did you actually go about starting to coach people and build this business?
Catherine: [00:04:46] I think that's a great thing to reflect on because it can look like for whether it's some life coach that you're following online or somebody else who started a new career, it can look like it's an overnight thing, like they were this person and then all of a sudden they're this person. But I can assure you that there was years of thought process and unfolding for me that went into this. One thing that helped is that for many years as a creative side hobby, I had been writing a newsletter called The Sunday Soother, and as my interest in The Sunday Soother evolved, first I was kind of writing about skincare and the kind of activities I was doing on the weekend, and it started to evolve into interest in self-help and spirituality and self-discovery. So I had a bit of a base of an audience from the newsletter, but it was a long process. During the yearlong coaching certification, I was coaching 5 or 6 people for a year for free, and so I was kind of getting my feet wet doing that and building a base on The Sunday Soother, either continuing to post online, starting a podcast of my own, and then kind of just decided come hell or high water, I am doing this damn thing.
Catherine: [00:05:52] And there was like this determination that took over partially money motivated because when you a successful corporate career of six figures and you're trying to build a business online. You're really kind of hustling in a lot of different ways. But I kind of just decided I'm not going to give up. I had given up on so many things in my life and I was ready to bring a bigger force of determination towards building this business, towards showing up in ways that felt authentic. And like you said, part of my awakening had been that I realized that most of my decisions throughout my life had been made out of fear. It was something I hadn't become aware of until my late 30s, how fear-driven I was. And I just decided anytime a decision came up that involved fear, I forced myself to choose from what was true for me instead of what I was scared of.
Nicole: [00:06:46] It's like that quote about it becomes more painful to remain in the bud than blossom.
Catherine: [00:06:51] That's one of my favorite, favorite quotes. Absolutely.
Nicole: [00:06:53] And so that was basically, what, like three years ago that you made the commitment, like stake in the sand, I'm doing this and now you're running your coaching business, you have the podcast, you have a membership, you have so many things which we'll get into later and talk about all the great offerings that you have. Another thing that was so interesting to me because I love the juxtaposition between the personal and the professional, and I remember reading in one of The Sunday Soother newsletters about how you were just like, “You know what? I had feelings for my best friend.” And in addition to all these other things that you're doing, you're like, I'm made a commitment that I was going to be honest and authentic to my feelings and confided that to him. Can you share the story of how that unfolded? Yeah.
Catherine: [00:07:34] So this was all me taking the steps to leave my job and build my own business. And this unfolding of confessing my romantic feelings to my best friend always in summer of 2019, which was like the worst summer of my life. Because when you're starting to do this stuff, when you're starting to move away from fear driven decisions and commit to like a life of authenticity, it actually is like awful. I think people are like, “Oh, it must feel great to listen to your authenticity and your intention and your intuition and make the choices.” And I'm like, It feels like really bad actually. And it's like scary. So that summer was wild because yes, simultaneously, while I was making the decision to leave my job and build a business, I realized that known for a long time that I had romantic feelings for my best friend. And we had been very close friends for over three years at that point. And it's kind of the same thing that came over me about my job. It was like, there is no time to waste here. If you want to do it, go for it. It almost doesn't matter if he says he likes you back, which sounds very like childish, but you're doing this thing for you, Catherine, because you're claiming your voice. You're being honest about your feelings for the first time in years, if not decades. And it's important for your self-worth to stand up and say, I like you. I've always liked you. I want to see if we can do something about this and just take it from there. And the best part was, is he was like, “Oh yeah, I like you too.”
Nicole: [00:08:59] That's so cute.
Catherine: [00:09:00] Three and a half years later, almost four years later, we're still together. We've moved in together. We live in a house in Western Virginia. So the risks, both in career and love worked out. But even if they hadn't, it would have been so worthwhile for me just to give voice to those desires within me.
Nicole: [00:09:16] Yeah, because even that is intentional living. It's not the outcome that mattered. Although the outcome is fantastic. Your business is doing well, You guys are together, you just got this house. But just the fact that you were true to yourself, that feels good. But you're right. I think I said in the mini episode at the end of season one, doing what's right for you doesn't always feel good. It doesn't mean you're skipping down the street. It actually is kind of a disconnect when you've come from a place of fear-based decisions or abiding towards expectations. So I just want to acknowledge you for doing that.
Catherine: [00:09:48] Thank you. And I know most people who've been through something like that get it that it is not easy. I know we know that on an intellectual level that it's not easy to do something like leave your job and start a business or be vulnerable in a relationship. But I do think so many people sometimes interpret that it feels bad or scary or not good as a reason to not do it. And I'd like to offer that... that puke feeling that you're having is actually a sign of vulnerability. It's a sign of true desire. And it is very scary. And that's why you feel like you are going to throw up. But if you can work through those fears and regulate yourself, I don't want anybody to take risks that would be truly damaging for them. But it is more a sign that that is actually something that you deeply, deeply care about at a soul level and it is worth pursuing.
Nicole: [00:10:45] And I just will say something personal because I feel like I'm in the early stages of an awakening that you may or may not call a spiritual awakening, depending on how people view that. But I say, “Oh my God, I'm going to throw up” or “I'm going to have a heart attack.” Almost every day. Almost every day. I just said it yesterday. I was like, “I’m gonna have a heart attack. Oh my God.” So this is very important. And so I want to talk more about that. You used that term. This is really like an awakening that you experienced in your late 30s. How has that changed how you experience the world now that you kind of walk through it in a different way?
Catherine: [00:11:15] Well, for one, I am 100% a more spiritual person, and I can say that this has been a very strange transformation for me as somebody who was raised with no religion and was a total atheist until her late 30s. But there's a definite sense of connectedness and support that I feel with everything that I do in my life, with the world around me. And so that has been a really beautiful part of this. But the awakening was more about allowing parts of myself that I had suppressed for decades to come forth. It was very strange because an awakening for me, at least in the way that I experienced it, I had always thought of myself as a confident and self-aware person. But going through that period of starting my relationship, starting my business and the year or two leading up to it, I hadn't realized how much of myself I'd actually been suppressing and how much of my self was actually operating out of shame and fear of judgment and self-worth struggles. So my awakening was really about a self-acceptance and self-love that really came forward that I had been denying myself for decades. So now self-compassion is a huge part of my life in a tangible way. I think we all know it as an intellectual concept, but it can be hard to live it in the day to day or understand what it can really look like. But I would say for me, those are the two biggest things a sense of spirituality, simply meaning that I feel that I have a purpose, that I am on a path that is guided, that I am connected to everything around me, that nothing is coincidental, and simultaneously that I'm a miraculous being just like each of us are. So those two things have been the outcome of that awakening period, I would say.
Nicole: [00:12:54] One thing that you share very openly in your work is also you have lots of tools that you use to tap into your spirituality and feel connected. Can you talk about some of the tools that you use?
Catherine: [00:13:06] Oh my gosh, so many. If I had to look back at that period of self-awakening and a spiritual awakening and personal awakening, morning pages journaling from Julia Cameron's The Artist's Way was the door opening and then Tarot was the invitation across the bridge to becoming a more spiritual person and journaling, the Morning Pages journaling in particular is to me, it's one of the most amazing tools that I'm so thankful for that came across my path. And for anybody who hasn't happened to heard of the Artist's Way, it's simply a stream of consciousness journaling for anywhere from 10 to 20 minutes. First thing upon waking up in the morning and as somebody who was stuck creatively but considered herself a writer, Morning Pages gave me a path for just a place where I didn't need to impress anybody with my writing, and it really helped me get past perfectionism and discover those parts of myself that I had been out of touch with for years. And then Tarot came into my field, and at first, Tarot was simply just a way of checking in on myself. I thought it was fun. The pictures were pretty. It was kind of cool to pull a card and see what it meant.
Catherine: [00:14:08] And simultaneously, over time, there just became too many coincidences with the way the cards were showing up for me that I was like, I think there's something here. So I dove deeper into tarot and into exploration of that, which helped absolutely turn me into a more spiritual person. I know we'll talk a little bit about emotional freedom technique. For me, that has been a very powerful tool for emotional and nervous system regulation. And nervous system regulation has been critical for me. And when I say nervous system regulation, I mean incorporating things like breathing practices, body scan awareness, vagus nerve work, to regulate my nervous system because primarily I'm a coach for highly sensitive people and highly sensitive people have very delicate nervous systems as well. And what I think many of us don't realize is that we have been spending many years in a chronic state of dysregulation, which is affecting things like anxiety or lack of energy and coming across nervous system regulation and body practices that helped me ground more into my body and feel more regulated were critical for me too.
Nicole: [00:15:11] I'm glad you mentioned you do work with highly sensitive people and high achievers when you're working with them in these modalities. Is there anything in particular you recommend for like someone needs to get in touch with their intuition or somebody? He's really steering themselves through some choppy waters. Are there specific ones that people would look into for any of those reasons?
Catherine: [00:15:32] I think journaling is kind of my first love of all the tools. It's really you're writing a letter to yourself every day. You're checking in on yourself, in those moments when you feel that nobody else is checking in on you or you feel a lack of clarity. Stream of consciousness journaling in particular, which can be hard to start, but once you get into the path is very insightful, will give you a clear path towards your intuition and stream of consciousness. Journaling may look like at first, like, “Wow, I feel tired this morning. I can't believe I have this meeting at 9 a.m. This is really boring.” It may look like a laundry list of boring things, but I promise you if you keep at it, you'll be writing a sentence and you'll be like, “What is coming out of my hands?” And it will be an insight into your own self that you never knew, but you simultaneously always knew. And it's right there on the page. You are always your own best support in journaling, at least for me. You know, different things work best for different people. So I won't say it's the one all for everybody. But journaling for me has been that tension that has highly impacted my intuition and also given me a sense of support during times when I felt very alone.
Nicole: [00:16:38] Yeah, that journaling piece of it, I started doing something I didn't even know I was doing when I was journaling and I found out there's a formal name for it that I didn't know. It's called future scripting, but I actually write as if I'm profiling myself. Like if I'm a journalist, profiling myself in the future, that this is this person's life and this is also really woo woo, but you'll appreciate it. Some of these things have started happening. So I sort of accidentally started doing this, and it's wild how it gets you into a mindset of manifestation.
Catherine: [00:17:09] I think scripting is a really powerful tool and so often when I'm talking about helping a client become their future self, their higher self, just like you're talking about, I'll have them visualize what that looks like. What are they wearing? What house are they in? What are they doing day to day? But have absolutely done this sort of writing. In fact, every year in December I'll write myself a letter from my future self a year ahead, and it tells me all the things that I've done in that year. And I have to tell you, 99% of them absolutely do come true. Because what's happening, Nicole, is you you are like tapping into your intuition and simply just being channeled through you, because these things were probably already going to happen in a way, and you are just tapping into a part of yourself that knows about them, your creativity, your imagination, and however it works. I don't know. I'm sure there's like some subconscious brain science that could also point to how something like this kind of journaling works. But it is a very powerful tool and it's really fun also.
Nicole: [00:18:06] Oh, it's so fun. When I first started doing it, I will say I felt really stupid. I was like, “This is a password protected document in the cloud.” Like no one can see what this is, but I'll go in there probably like once a week because new stuff will come to me and I will just add to this and it's just like, okay, yeah, I guess that's the newest thing that we're thinking about.
Catherine: [00:18:28] Did you talk about like having a successful podcast and things?
Nicole: [00:18:32] It's a little bit of it, yeah. Personal and professional. Like it's wild. It's just really wild. And also, I'll say that I dabble a little bit in Tarot inspired by you and also Caroline D'Onofrio, who is on the episode before you. Both of you have such great newsletters and talk about this so openly, but sometimes I have to just stop pulling tarot for a second because I start feeling like I'm gonna have a heart attack or like nauseous, right? I'm like, “Oh my God, Like, this is so accurate. Oh, my God.” So, yeah, I mean, just the things that you share with your Sunday Soother community is just mind blowing and I can't recommend it all enough.
Catherine: [00:19:05] I love that. And this is like spiritual stuff and I don't even think you have to think of it as spiritual. Like there doesn't have to be a religious or a spiritual element like journaling and tarot like help people. And there is such judgment about some of these kinds of tools that I wish as highly sensitive people I work with. Many of them are spiritually curious, but they're terrified of judgment. And we have to remember that a lot of what has happened with capitalism and the patriarchy is the erasure of tools like that that do connect you to your intuition and to your higher knowing your future self, your higher self. But I really think they're also nothing to be scared of. These things are here to support us, but I'm going to have to try. Your future self scripting writing it as if it's a profile really to me because I went to journalism school.
Nicole: [00:19:54] And that's my background too, is writing, journalism, communications. Like, yeah, so you, you will totally resonate with it. It was an accident that I literally went and found out, Is that a real thing? I think I was like, Am I crazy or something? So I just was looking to see if there was anything else about that online and happened to find it. And also to your comment about capitalism and the patriarchy, I think anything that helps people get in touch with their intuition or their values or beliefs is not in the best interest of those things. Because if people start thinking independently or start thinking collectively, even. That doesn't work because then we don't get to have a society where there is shame and expectations and capitalistic bullshit.
Catherine: [00:20:34] Yes, and it's actually been a huge motivator for me to be incredibly open about my spirituality. For those reasons. I see it as an act of rebellion against those systems that want to keep us in a particular box. So I know people can get a little nervous when they're talking about their curiosity about tarot or the way that they like to journal or think about goal setting or manifestation. But for me, you know, I do hear a lot of people who are like, I wish I could be as open as you are about your spirituality. And my motivating factor is getting rid of the patriarchy.
Nicole: [00:21:06] Yeah! Seriously, plug into that and think about how obviously we're talking about women in particular, but also the patriarchy affects men as well. So how has that not served us in ways of like, we're so divided? I'll blame a lot of it on that.
Catherine: [00:21:20] And the biggest tool of the patriarchy is shame. And so if I'm going to feel ashamed about my spiritual practice or anything that I'm actually enjoying, that clicks me right out of it. Because a lot of really what happened to me in my spiritual awakening, my personal awakening and my stepping into my career and to my romantic relationship was deciding that I just wasn't going to let shame rule my life anymore. I was exhausted by it, and I hadn't even realized that I was a person who struggled with shame. You know, by every metric on paper, I had a pretty successful life. But when I started these practices like journaling and tarot and more self-awareness and introspection, it became quite clear to me that I had been. And I just got tired of being embarrassed about things. I was like, Tarot, I'm going to talk about it all the time. I like this form of journaling. I'm really into this connection with nature because this oppressive tool of shame is really the thing that's eroding so much of our society. And people hide their true interests, their true natures, their true personalities because of fear of perception of others or how we all should be. It's one of the reasons I'm called to do the work that I am.
Nicole: [00:22:31] You mentioned something about the tools like tarot and things like that. I remember saying to a friend, as I'm going through this in a very early stage of it, I feel like I'm plugged in to something. And I was like, I think it's like source or spirituality, but I think what you're saying, you're actually plugged in to yourself. I was talking to the same friend recently and I said, I feel like everything that I'm pursuing right now makes zero sense on paper and logically, by all the standards of society is not a good idea. Like what you were saying about I left this job and I'm in DC and I'm like, I'm going to build a coaching practice online. And people are like, “What?” And I said, I just feel like I'm a little delusional. And she said, I want you to put that away for six months at least. I want you to not say that to yourself anymore. Like no more delusional. So yeah, I think what you said about your breaking up with shame essentially, like, I'm not going to be embarrassed about this, I think is so powerful. And to see where it has led you is inspiring.
Catherine: [00:23:27] Well, sounds like you have a very good friend. And also, I would say I love being delusional. Everybody thought I was delusional when I started my business. And here I am in my fourth year of it and it's pretty successful. I also just moved to a 250-year-old home in a village of a hundred people 90 minutes west of D.C. after living for 16 years in Washington, DC. And these were total delusions. There was no logical reason that I should have gone after them, that they should have worked out. I think sometimes logical is also just like a shadow word, for they're not safe, but then safe according to whose standards to fear based.
Nicole: [00:24:02] Right. That's fear-based.
Catherine: [00:24:03] Yeah. It kind of comes back to the same thing. So when somebody is talking about, well, that's not a logical decision. And I'm like, well, first off, like define logical. And like, whose rules of logic are we operating by? Because I don't want to go by a standard of logic that's created by the patriarchy or another oppressive system. I don't want to go by a standard of logic that's fear-driven. How is it actually the most logical thing in the world that I am taking this leap to build this business that involves everything that it does journaling and tarot and helping women and running courses and all these kinds of things. And same for you. We're not nearly delusional.
Nicole: [00:24:40] You're saying consider the source and then what you've experienced is really stepping out of shame and stepping into your power. Was it your most recent newsletter that you included an article about delusion?
Catherine: Yes.
Nicole: Okay. So that would have been like the February 26th issue of the Sunday Soother. Had a great link to an article about that that quoted Aubrey Plaza as saying her mom took her to Madison Square Garden for an audition and she was like, “Nothing was in my favor of winning this audition.” But I think she did. And she was like, I was just deluded that I believed that I deserved it. And that mindset has served her. So thank you for that.
Catherine: [00:25:14] Yeah. More delusion in 2023.
Nicole: [00:25:16] Yeah, we're just claiming it. Claim the delusion. So now you're on this path. You've been on this path for 3 to 5 years. I mean, you kind of kicked off five years ago when you started the life coach certification and now your business is doing well. You've built this community; you have more offerings that you are providing to that community. You're in your relationship, you're in your little witch house, I think. Is that what you call it in Western Virginia?
Catherine: [00:25:40] The Nature Witch Cottage is what I call it.
Nicole: [00:25:42] Love that it's the Nature Witch Cottage 250 years old. So how is your life different and more aligned with what's meant for you?
Catherine: [00:25:50] It's so many ways different. I want to even start off and say in many ways it's still the same. I still struggle with shame. I still struggle with fear. I'm preaching here being delusional, but I still put limits on myself too. And I'm human. And these things are going to be very natural for all of us. So I still struggle with the things that I coach on and that I teach on and that all humans struggle with. But how is it materially different? I'm in control of my time as a business owner, which is a huge, huge thing for me. Self-authority and freedom has been the best thing in the world for me. I wake up every day, I meditate and then I go on a walk. I'm out here in Appalachia basically, and I go walking on the trails amongst the hills and the trees. I was living in a condo, and now I'm living in this crazy old log cabin in a town of 100 people. I was born and raised in Washington, D.C. and I lived there for the last 16 years. And to be here in this village essentially, close to nature, but still having some good community, that's super different. I trust myself so much more. I think that has been like a huge element of my growth is that I still struggle with fear.
Catherine: [00:26:53] I still struggle with shame, but I know that I have the self-reliance and the determination to keep moving forward. This is kind of a funny one that comes to mind, but after the pandemic, I knew I was introverted, but I'm also just like really introverted. And so I'm out here in the woods in this house alone a lot of the time, and that's been really wonderful for me. So I'm seeing fewer people at the same time. I'm having some relationships and friendships deepen and for much of my life I thought the name of the game was to try to have as many friends as possible and do as much socially as possible. And I'm giving myself permission to just have a couple of close friends and my boyfriend and my family, and that's really it. Those are the people that I see. And I would say that the self-trust element, when I started my business, I did not trust myself. I was on that puke feeling every day. And now I'm only on that puke feeling like two days out of the month. I just know that I can have my own back. And that's probably one of the biggest differences for me.
Nicole: [00:27:53] I love that. That's your big Here For Me button. People who feel like they're going on a detour or maybe having an awakening would love to hear your advice. As a coach who works with people on this kind of a journey. And also you have so many offerings. I would love to hear what you recommend for people who might be on a path like this.
Catherine: [00:28:14] Well, first off, nothing is going wrong and you're not alone and you're not insane or anything. I've found that people who do tend to go through this sort of awakening their traditional circles don't always understand what is happening. And you may see relationships fall away. Friendships, romantic relationships, work relationships, those sorts of things. You may feel very misunderstood. And that is strangely and unfortunately, because it can be quite painful, part of the process. But it doesn't mean that what you're thinking or starting to realize about yourself or the world around you is it all wrong. But it can be a bit of an isolating experience. Sometimes an awakening like this, it's not something you can work your way out of, if that makes sense. When I first started feeling these things about wanting to leave my job and do this business stuff and become a life coach, I really tried to tamp it down and become like a better worker and more dedicated at my job and suppress the voice that told me to do these things more and more and more. And then when it became clear I didn't really want to stay in my job. I worked so hard at applying to other corporate jobs, every single one of which got very rejected from. And I put my high achieverness towards trying to force myself out of this awakening path. And it didn't work. If I had been able to surrender a little bit more to what was happening, and when I say surrender, what that looks like is maybe the relationship falls away, maybe the job does fall away and not grasping to those things as painful as it can be, but trusting that that's something in the process that is meant to happen.
Catherine: [00:29:48] Just knowing and having context and awareness for language about some of these things that are happening can be comforting. Being open to modalities, you know, this is the path in life where people do turn to things like journaling or tarot or astrologists or whatever, and it starts to become the time in which you become incredibly interested in yourself and what makes you work, where you came from, your conditioning, why you are the way you are. And I would encourage that. You're probably going to go on a deep self-dive. It's going to look different for everybody, but spend time getting to know yourself. I think that's the most important thing you can do, whether it's just doing the morning pages, journaling that we talked about or turning to tarot or whatever it may be, that is time that you will never regret. Building this relationship with yourself and for tools, people can always find me at The Sunday Soother. I have a ton of different courses for anybody who's been interested in the spirituality angle that we've touched on today, I have a course called Practical Spirituality. When my spiritual awakening was happening, it just felt like super overwhelming and I was like, so this person says I should meditate like this, and this person says, I should read tarot like this and like, “What the hell are crystals?” And I wanted a very grounded like, checklist approach because that's who I am. And I have a course that teaches you about tarot. It teaches you about energy, it teaches you about journaling and meditation practices that I use in my spiritual awakening. So that's something that folks could check out too.
Nicole: [00:31:09] You just have so many offerings and obviously coaching you, offering one on one coaching as well as the membership?
Catherine: [00:31:15] Yes, I do still offer some one-on-one coaching and so I'm kind of all over the Internet. I'm at thesundaysoother.com is my newsletter and podcast, and then my coaching services are over at CatherineDAndrews.com, but I am launching a Sunday soother membership and that's going to have several tiers. We're going to be doing weekly tarot readings, New Moon Journal circles, which is kind of this community event where I facilitate journaling and meditation amongst a group of people on the new moon. Then monthly workshops geared towards highly sensitive people. I think of The Sunday Soother membership, what I hope for it to be, and maybe I should try your profiling, journaling, future self-journaling style around this is that it becomes a destination for the evolvement of personal growth, spiritual growth and creative growth for the highly sensitive person.
Nicole: [00:31:57] As we're wrapping up, one thing I would love for our listeners to experience is some of your work firsthand. And you mentioned earlier about emotional freedom technique, also known as EFT tapping, and that's something that you use in your practice. From what I understand about it, it's something anyone can do pretty much anywhere. They might feel a little weird because you are actually tapping a part of your body, but it's very simple, accessible and extremely effective. So I would love it if you could guide us through an exercise.
Catherine: [00:32:26] Yes. So there's many different ways to apply EFT. And so you'll find videos online. So definitely continue to research it if it resonates with you. But the one practice I'll share with you today is a “let it go EFT practice” that I use when I'm feeling triggered or overwhelmed or generally stressed out. And EFT involves literally tapping on different meridian points on your face and your upper body. And for today, we're just going to be tapping on a few points. So I'll walk through the points first and then I'll show you this brief exercise. But what you'll do is you'll tap first above your eyebrows. And you're using. You can use a couple fingers. You can use all your fingers, you can do one eyebrow, you can do both eyebrows tapping above your eyebrows. And then tapping on the side of your eye. And then tapping under your eye kind of on the cheekbone point right there. And then tapping on your collarbone. This is how I use it. So I get flustered easily and still get triggered easily because being the whole human thing. And so this is an exercise that I break out when that physical sensation is almost running away with me and I'm letting my thoughts spiral into fear or anger. So what I'll do is I'll bring forward the feeling. So I invite the listeners and anybody who wants to do this to think of something that's been bothering you or triggering you or enraging you or scaring you and bring it forward and feel it in your body as much as possible.
Catherine: [00:33:59] And I'll walk myself through this. To give you an example, I've been struggling with some admin stuff. It turns out taking care of a 250-year-old house like... comes with some responsibility. And I'm like, I've only lived in condos. What is happening? So I have fear of spending money on services, fear of like, do I find a good contractor? So when I'm doing this exercise, I'm feeling that fear as a tightening in the center of my chest. And so bring it forward first. And I ask myself a few questions. Where in my body am I feeling this? How do I know it's bothering me? And there's no right or wrong answer to that. But I know it's bothering me because I'm feeling short of breath and I have racing thoughts about it. And then I ask myself, does it have a shape and or a color? And this kind of has like a gray triangle shape for me. And then does it have a message? And nothing that's coming quite clear for this one, but usually it's something along the lines of like, you're going to mess this up.
Catherine: [00:35:02] And then what I do is I almost intensify that feeling in the space that I'm feeling it in my body. And then I open my eyes and I put my chin up and that's when I start tapping and I'm tapping on the front of my eyebrows. And I'm simply saying, let it go four times on each spot. Let it go, let it go, let it go. Let it go. Side of the eye. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Under the eye. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Collarbone. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. And then I often just squeeze my wrists and take a deep breath in. And blow it out gently and bring to mind a person or animal that I care deeply about. Usually for me, it's one of my niece or nephews or spot in nature that brings me calm and I just let myself be with that person or animal or place in nature for a moment. And then I check in and I see has the fearful or energy discharged a little bit? And sometimes it's gone all the way. Sometimes it's only gone down a couple notches. And then I repeat that process until I'm just feeling a little more grounded.
Nicole: [00:36:34] That was incredible. And I'll tell you what I did. I have a business investment that I just made that is giving me such a heart attack feeling and so much fear. So that was what I focused on. To me, that looked like a red button, almost like a stoplight. That was what just came to mind for me. It manifests as tension, like right on the back of my neck. And a lot of times that's where fear manifests for me or anxiety. And at the end of that, I thought of this little bird. There's a black Phoebe bird that sits outside of my office, and she always comes by at like 3:00 in the afternoon and I always go, “Hello, Phoebe.” And so I thought of black Phoebe. And then I took myself to Coronado Beach because I'm in San Diego. And it was like, simple, effective. And yeah, like you said, like, I can see how some days it might be harder to bring that down more notches, but it's something that's so accessible and simple. Thank you so much.
Catherine: [00:37:22] You're so welcome. Such a such a delight to do that and to be here with you today.
Nicole: [00:37:25] It was an incredible conversation. Thank you for sharing your journey, your detour, your awakening, how it's come to life for you, and thank you for everything you do for highly sensitive people, people pleasers, high achievers. I'm here for it. And I'm just so glad that you're in the world. And I'm blessed to be in your orbit.
Catherine: [00:37:44] Oh, and thank you so much for your podcast and all you're doing to we need more of us helping. So anybody who's talking authentically about their story or has listened to this conversation and been like, “Oh, I wish I could put my voice out there like Nicole or Catherine,” do it. Your desire is meant for you. You wouldn't have that desire if it wasn't part of your path. And find your community, find your regulating resources and take those small steps towards the path. But it's not a mistake if you're feeling drawn to the things we talked about today and wanting to do it for yourself.
Nicole: [00:38:13] Thank you for throwing that out there for people because it's true. If you feel like you have a voice, if you feel pulled toward something, walk toward it, move past the puke and just do it. Thank you so much.
Catherine: [00:38:24] Thank you.
Nicole: [00:38:26] As a long-time reader and listener of The Sunday Soother, it was an honor to dive deeper into Catherine's story and what it's like to walk through an awakening. Embracing what often feels like delusion, and moving away from fear-based living into intentional living. I also want to emphasize the importance of friends who know you're not nuts and encourage you to walk boldly toward what's meant for you. Like my very good friend that Catherine acknowledged, Andrea Dahlke, who is one of the brightest lights in my life.
Earlier this season, we talked about the tower card in Tarot, which symbolizes the destruction of foundations and ideologies that no longer serve you to clear the path for what's meant for you. Catherine's Tower moment arrived in the form of dissatisfaction with her work and feeling called to something that felt out of place in her world, which at that time was the ambitious, high-achieving life and career she was leading in Washington, DC. She realized she'd been making decisions out of fear instead of what was true for her, and made an intentional choice to move toward what called her toward those puke moments that are a sign of true desire. In doing so, she realized fear is often a sign of something you care deeply about on a soul level. Or as another very good friend once told me, “fear is false evidence appearing real.” Moving toward what's true for you is what it looks like to choose yourself to trust your heart and your gut, to filter out the input of people who love you, but from their own fear-based place, to reject the shame of a culture that wants us to make seemingly safe, logical choices that don't honor our purpose, our unique gifts, or the contribution we're called to make in this lifetime.
Nicole: [00:40:11] As Catherine shared, standing in your power, in your light, in your truth isn't what we're conditioned to do. And when you start doing so, whether you classify that as an awakening or not, it can feel isolating and delusional. As someone who was pushed onto this path 18 months ago, I will attest that nearly every day I feel like I'm out of my mind. But it's subsiding over time. And I think I speak for Catherine and all those before us who learn to let the beat of their heart be their guide. Feeling a little crazy is what it means to feel aligned and alive.
Here For Me is produced by Lens Group Media in association with Tulla Productions. As is often said, it takes a village to make this podcast, and my deepest gratitude goes out to every person in that village. Our producers Dave Nelson and Stacy Harris; designer and illustrator Amy Senftleben; and our production assistant, Amanda McGonigal. If you enjoyed this episode, I'd love it if you'd follow the show rate review and share it with people you love. You can also follow me on Instagram and Facebook at nicolejchristie. Until next time. Thank you so much for listening. Here's to you being here for you and to the power of choosing yourself.