Allie Casazza | Becoming Her: A Journey from Self-Suppression to Self-Acceptance

Season Three
Written By Nicole Christie

Mother of four, best-selling author, top-rated podcaster, and life coach Allie Casazza opens up about how personal struggles, setbacks, and a crumbling marriage pushed her to question everything. She shares her journey of rediscovery, from overcoming religious oppression and mental health struggles to ending her marriage and restructuring her business. As she moved towards healing, Allie wholeheartedly accepted her mistakes and built on the lessons learned. Allie also shares how she revived herself and her business, moved from an 'I have to' to an 'I get to' mentality, and the transformative process she calls ”Becoming Her.”

Show Notes:

  • Nicole: [00:00:03] Welcome to Here For Me, a podcast about the power of choosing yourself. I'm Nicole Christie, and I'm honored to be here with you to share life-altering stories, lessons learned, and advice from leading experts that will help you show up for yourself with the love, honor, compassion, and encouragement you give to others. Because just as we say, I'm here for you to show we care for someone, saying I'm here for me to ourselves is the best form of self-care.

    Today I'm talking with Allie Casazza. Allie is on a mission to help women level up in life, motherhood, and business. She's the mother of four children, author of the number one bestseller Declutter Like a Mother, host of the chart topping podcast The Purpose Show, and has received praise from The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, The Today Show, and more for her programs that help women live a full life free of chaos and overwhelm.

    But the last two years pushed even Allie to her limits. She felt like a shell of herself. She was procrastinating, living a low vibe, low energy, low joy lifestyle and wanted more for her business, her family, and herself. She did the hard inner work to get honest about what was working in her life and what wasn't, and stepped into a deeper version of her true self. It's a journey she calls “Becoming Her,”, and she's now guiding other women to become the highest version of themselves. We'll talk with Allie about how she's rebuilt herself and her life.

    Allie, welcome to Here For Me.

    Allie: [00:01:39] Thank you so much for having me as a guest. I've been really looking forward to this conversation.

    Nicole: [00:01:44] I have as well. As a mother of four, I feel like you have really had this story around creating order out of chaos, but in thinking about the conversations we've had and what I know about you and your work in the world, it's been in a more externally focused way in the form of decluttering and organization.

    But what we're going to talk about today is these last couple of years showed you how to do that on the inside. And it's been a journey that has really tested you in many ways, but you just sort of jumped on for the ride and let it take you where you are meant to be, all the while absorbing what it was there to teach you.

    And now you're sharing that with others, which is a whole new contribution. So kudos to you and thank you for joining me today to tell this story.

    Allie: [00:02:31] Yeah, of course I'm an open book so we can take this wherever you feel led.

    Nicole: [00:02:36] I love that. It's like music to my ears and we're a receptive show for that. So I'm very glad that we're a match made in heaven here.

    So I would love to start by talking about these last couple of years, which have been incredibly trying for you. They've also been an awakening of sorts, which I want to get into later in our conversation.

    But in many ways, your world sort of crumbled to the ground. It was your health, your sense of self, your family as you knew it.

    So walk us through how it started and when you realized you needed to make big shifts to realign yourself in your life.

    Allie: [00:03:13] So a little bit of a background on my business. I started as like, I simply thought I was going to be helping people declutter. I had become aware in my own life of how out of control I felt of my physical space.

    I had no idea about the invisible web that was attached from that to your mental health, to your emotional well-being, to even your relationships. And how creating physical space creates mental space, creates space to feel more, notice more, be aware of more, know yourself more. Connect with your children more. It opens up your entire life.

    So I went on that journey personally, and then I was sharing it online and it naturally led into oh well, like, what if we decluttered our schedule and our calendar and we just stopped saying yes to everything because we feel like we have to and we just set boundaries?

    Well, okay, what would happen if we opened ourselves up to the energetics of home and oh, what's feng shui? Let's dive into that. And I ended up getting certified in that and everything just started to unfold, and I found myself really becoming more of a life coach than just the, like, decluttering queen.

    At the same time, I was raised in a very religious, suppressive upbringing, specifically the private school I was sent to, and I went to a private Christian school from preschool all the way through forever. Even the college I went to was a Baptist school, but my whole life was oppressive, specifically of women like me, meaning women on fire, women that don't want to be playing small, women that want more. It's just seen as oh no no no no no no no no, go back, get back in the box type of vibe.

    So I was raised very much under the belief that, you know, you need to be good and good girls do these things. Oh, don't eat that. Fat girls eat that. Oh, don't say that. Slutty girls do that.

    So I was taught very much to stay in the box and be good. And being good was presented to me as defined by the people around me and what they told me was good. So it was very much on the perception of the people in my life.

    I was quite literally brought up to live my life for the approval of the people around me. I was sent to a very traumatizing purity camp. The girls and I at school experienced touching that was inappropriate by male teachers. Having my skirt measured very slowly by men like, Oh, see, you're bad, your skirt's not supposed to be this short. Being talked to about my breast size by male teachers. Just really disturbing, unfortunately stereotypical things and it messes with you.

    So there was just this mix of, I didn't know who I was, and I didn't know what was good and what was bad. I was always looking for it around me because I was told these certain things were bad, but then the leaders were doing them.

    So I grew up very confused, really unsure of myself, and definitely taught that don't connect with yourself, don't follow your heart or this Disney bullshit like, oh no no no no no no, you have to go outside of yourself to find the answers. Nothing is inside of you but sin and shame. And make sure you stay disconnected from yourself and just be good.

    So fast forward and I am growing this business. I had grown a huge team. I was quietly deconstructing my faith. Which means you're asking questions you're not supposed to ask and you're diving into it for yourself. So I had taken ownership of my home, my mental health, my family, my life, my calendar, my business.

    My relationship with money was very traumatic. I have a lot of awful things that happen to me because of a lack of money. I was diagnosed with PTSD because of it in 2017. I was really working through my shit and it looked like I had it all together. Felt like it for the most part. And then I started to realize everything that I was raised in was not my truth.

    And I want to be careful and say my truth, not to sound annoying or cliche or fluffy, but because everyone is allowed to have their own truth. I don't believe there is one universal truth anymore. I think that's damaging and pretty toxic, and that is the foundation of how I was raised. So for me, I was finding this is not what God is. This is not what I am. This is not what I'm made for. Fuck being good. I'm tired.

    I was married at the time to Brian. We have four kids together. We got married extremely young. We had just turned 20 and thought that I couldn't have kids. Wasn't really bothered by it. Ended up having four kids in five years.

    We were not ready at all. It was a fun, wild mess and we have always been very close. He is my best friend, but I started to come to him and just say, I feel like our marriage is a symbol of what we have come out of. We deconstructed all this side by side.

    We asked hard questions. We noticed abuse that we were seeing at church that we were used to seeing, so didn't think anything of it and started asking, what the fuck did he just say this about the people that are giving money? Is he really treating us better because of how much we give? There's so many things that we witnessed firsthand, and separating God and Source from people and the institution and all of it.

    And then I started to say, I feel like our marriage is such a symbol of this, and I feel like I never got to make a choice. And I had no, even a second thought about saying that to him, knew that he wouldn't fly off the handle, be hurt. Like he just was completely like, yeah, same.

    Nicole: [00:09:29] With you on the same page.

    Allie: [00:09:31] Of course. And we ended up deciding we were not going to be married anymore. We waited like two and a half years to actually pull the trigger because there was no rush. And we care about each other and we have kids. But two years ago, we finally did it. And we kept it from the public, even from some family and friends for a year. Just slowly undid our family. No one even noticed. And then we told everybody and everybody freaked out.

    Nicole: [00:09:56] I love that you call this becoming unmarried. You still love each other. You're still co-parents. You're still friends. So why is it anybody's business?

    From what I understand, listening to your show, you and Brian talked about it. You got almost ostracized by people from your community, family, friends, the community you've built. Talk more about what happened.

    Allie: [00:10:16] The most interesting thing to me, and I guess surprising, was the public people that we didn't even know existed until their comments popped up. Like, I'm so hurt, and I'm really good on boundaries. Anytime anyone oversteps a boundary in my public community, I will handle it. And I will handle it publicly, gently and firmly. And I was having to do that a lot because people were just like, I am so shocked and hurt. This is going to ruin my day. Oh my God, my stomach hurts. Like, fix your stomach, have some Pepto. Like it's not on me.

    Nicole: [00:10:50] That's a beautiful Here For Me thing of setting a boundary and recognizing what is not yours to take on that is not about you. That is someone else reacting to you. So kudos to you for being able to do that.

    Allie: [00:11:03] Well, it’s crazy because very few people were like, How are you? So the tie together here is the institutions that we were raised in. I saw a tie between be good and be the way that we want you to be, and then we love you. We buy all your courses, we sing your praises. And if you break the mold or break out of what someone wanted you to be, you're ostracized. It wasn't so bad in my public community.

    Personally, nobody from our church reached out to us. Not a single soul. All of the time we spent, the years we were there, the money we gave, the time like I was helping with marketing, helping to grow the church. But I was not allowed to be on the board because I'm a woman.

    Nicole: [00:11:46] So yeah, I was going to say, let me guess, this has something to do with you being a woman.

    Allie: [00:11:51] Also, they wanted to soak up all of my marketing genius for free, and I let them because that's what good girls do. Nobody reached out. Everybody talked about it. No one talked to us or asked if we were good. My best friend of 27 years, huge distance ever since this news.

    So it's almost kind of like a cult thing. The belief is you want to hang around who's going to lift you up, but that is really code for who's like you. Who's being good, who's being biblical. And divorce, you know, that's a big D. And the fact that I was best friends with my ex, dating, finding myself. Oh, that's so bad.

    Nicole: [00:12:36] That's not allowed. Yeah. You’ve got to stay in that box.

    Also, your body was talking to you and saying, wake up. You're not honoring yourself. You're not honoring your truth. What were the ways that your body was signaling to you that you had essentially abandoned yourself because of these expectations?

    Allie: [00:12:55] So it started when I first started wondering and asking questions about the religion and everything we come from. And I was raising my kids, and I was just feeling like I didn't want to raise them in this, but didn't know why. And that's very scary. So big fears there.

    At the same time, I've always had PCOS, which is polycystic ovary syndrome. I've had that since I was 17, but had it under control wasn't really a problem. All of a sudden I started having massive cysts on my ovaries that were erupting randomly. So I began to fear my own body. Like, is this going to happen when I'm at the grocery store and I'm going to pass out from the pain? I was scared of my own body and it was all in my feminine center. All the health issues I had were in my feminine center, which...

    Nicole: [00:13:38] Metaphorical, metaphysical, all of that representative.

    Allie: [00:13:42] Absolutely. I was struggling with…the body keeps the score and she is not subtle. Bitch is loud and clear. And so yep, it started getting pretty bad. And cut to this whole time when I was actually breaking out of the mold, I thought, it's going to clear, it's going to clear. It got worse. It got so much worse.

    So after we got unmarried, I met a man while I was traveling and we hit it off, had a connection, started seeing each other whenever we were in the same area. And I was having so much fun.

    And I started having worse feminine center issues. It was shame. My body was trained to not allow enjoyment, to not allow pleasure outside of the box, and it got so bad that I had to really start to pay attention. Of course, I'm not a huge western medicine person. I believe it has its place, but I will never just go there. I kind of like to mix more like homeopathy and Eastern medicine. So I found an integrative doctor that's a blend of both, and she helped me get on some herbs and stuff and it soothed it, but nothing was changing.

    So I was sick. I was struggling with shame. At this point in my story, nobody knew that we were not married. It was a secret. I was very nervous about telling people, specifically people that worked for me, because they had all worked for me for like five years. They were all very religious as well, because that's, you know, the kind of people that I was around when I was hiring them. And, and I loved them.

    So I was getting ready to go on a team retreat and I experienced sexual assault. It just compounded the shame. Because I was taught, What were you wearing? It was awful.

    And it was like, okay, I paid my price for what I've done. I deserved it. But I go to this retreat, I had an infection in my throat that I told everybody was strep, but it was actually from the experience. I had a really bad infection, which was humiliating. I felt disgusting, I was bleeding, I went anyway instead of saying, I can't do this, you guys go have fun. I had be a good, be good, be the leader.

    Nicole: [00:15:55] Be a good girl. People please.

    Allie: [00:15:57] I was not myself. I was completely shut down. I started drinking gin because it made the throat pain go away. The meds were not doing shit. I got super drunk. I was an idiot, I offended people, I exploded. No one asked if I was okay, but it's not on them. It was on me.

    I was suppressed, suppressed, suppressed, suppressed and kept going, kept performing, kept being good. Put other people first. You're a dead last. You're worthless. You're a sinner. You're nothing. You're shame.

    Instead of being a kid, I was out evangelizing at 11 years old. Like, go take care of other people. You are literal trash. So now the castle is crumbling.

    Nicole: [00:16:35] You and I were talking about in tarot, right? I called these the Tower Moments when your entire world just crumbles. You fall apart, you probably have some sort of breakdown because your body can't take it anymore. It's like, stop, I'm going to explode through all these experiences that you are holding in.

    When you think about your chakras, right? If you're not speaking your truth, people will have issues with their throat. They lose their voice. They have something that, you know, seems like strep or whatever, because you're not speaking up and saying your truth.

    So here's this Tower Moment. Everything burns to the ground. You're basically feel like you're imploding. How did you get to the other side of that?

    Allie: [00:17:11] It's so interesting with the throat, because I had had strep throat every month for like a year. And I couldn't get it figured out. My throat was just fucked. Like it. Yeah.

    Nicole: [00:17:23] So on fire?

    Allie: [00:17:25] Yes. Like burning. And it felt like a huge lump. And I kept like, this doesn't feel like strep. I had strep as a kid and they're like, well, it is strep and meds, meds, meds.

    Interesting though that, in the assault with the shame, it would directly affect my throat. So all of this being at the bottom, like you said, and the crumbling with the tarot, I think we talked before that card was pulled for me like three times. I was like, okay.

    Nicole: [00:17:49] I hear it. Universe, 'm listening.

    Allie: [00:17:53] Now the card to know everything is crumbling like, no shit Sherlock. So I basically [00:18:00] I disappeared. I disappeared for like four months. I didn't even have any apps on my phone. I wasn't texting people back. It was so nice.

    Nicole: [00:18:11] Like, just go underground and go within.

    Allie: [00:18:15] Yeah, I went within. I reached out to everybody that I had hurt and offended. They would not hear me. Most of them would not talk to me. They completely cut me out and then ended up taking it to the internet instead of responding to me, which they can, I get it. Some of them we did talk and that was good.

    But I didn't open up about anything. I could have shut down by letting them know what had happened and what I had been going through, but I didn't want it that way. I didn't want pity. I went internal.

    Brian and I had been wanting to move. We had tried living on the East Coast and were really unhappy. We sold our house and officially started to separate things. We wanted to be back in the sun. So we moved to Scottsdale, Arizona and we love it here. He got a place down the street from me and I got this house and quietly started over.

    I picked up the pieces of the old life, but I didn't bring them with me. I had a funeral. I buried the old me and the old life, the old friends, the old beliefs, the old everything.

    I just burned it all. I'm not that person anymore at all. I don't think I have any of the same friends, a couple, but we're not as close as before. We can't be. Not everyone needs to come with you.

    Nicole: [00:19:39] I just read this today. There was a really interesting quote on Instagram. Giovanni Rivera is an artist who founded The Love Change, which is a great community. And literally today he posted something that said, take time to make peace with the fact that you will be misunderstood when you vibrate on a different frequency.

    And I feel like that's what happens when you go through this. And it's almost like a clearing and a cleansing, and it's painful in a lot of ways, but it's sort of like the wisdom to, of, like there are things that are seasonal.

    There are some people who will go with you through every season of your life, and there are probably a lot more people that come in for a season for a reason. You in their life, them in your life, and then you don't always take everything with you.

    But I'm curious that process of the funeral that you had, you really did this because you were like, I'm sick of burying my true self. So I'm going to actually bury the fake self and not bring it with me.

    This was, I think, eating you alive, manifesting in the form of health issues. You felt like you were a mess emotionally. You were outwardly being a mess emotionally and then went back and repaired that. You said something to me when we first spoke.

    You said, I leaned into the hard shit and felt brave enough to go toward uncertainty, to leave a marriage that was fine, and to reinvent a business that was successful.

    What did it look like to lean into the hard shit and find that courage to move toward the unknown?

    Allie: [00:21:07] I was so scared. I was terrified. People had decided they hated me. I did not go in the forums and speak for myself. I did not come on and make a big statement about anything because I dealt with it the way that I felt was right. I dealt with it with the people that it affected directly. And I just owned it, and I did everything I could.

    And then it's time to forgive yourself and move on. So coming back and being myself online after years of only being a vanilla version of you is very hard. That's hard shit.

    So I had to redefine who I was publicly and let people be like, Uh, she's cussing. Oh, she's cussing a lot. Oh, she's. Who is this? She's oh, she's fallen so far away and just let them.

    People came at me. They still come at me. Just this morning, I was crying over a really hurtful DM because I burned my business down too and started over. And people don't like it. I was misaligned and now I'm aligned.

    Nicole: [00:22:09] And they feel abandoned. So they’re taking that out on you.

    Allie: [00:22:12] Yeah. And that hurts me I, don't want that. And it's that quote you said, you know I'm at a different place now. So it's misunderstanding.

    And for an Enneagram eight, being misunderstood is not unfamiliar. And it is also our biggest fear. That was a big piece of the hard shit. And I think more than that, I wanted to run back to safety when everything was going down. I thought maybe we should just stay married.

    Nicole: [00:22:37] It's easier in a lot of ways. You know how to live in that.

    Allie: [00:22:40] Especially because we hadn’t announced anything. Nobody knew. For a moment I was like, run back to comfort. But my body, even at the thought, was leaning away like, no. And so I dove into the health stuff.

    That's another piece of the hard shit like, OK, body, you're not responding to meds. I invested in energetic work with this woman that is a licensed therapist. She does healing through the body. The body keeps the score. So releasing, um, somatic therapy.

    Nicole: [00:23:09] Somatic. Oh, so good.

    Allie: [00:23:11] So hard. Oh, my God.

    Nicole: [00:23:13] Really painful. Yeah, it's very traumatic. I did that as well. Yeah. It's ugly. Yeah, but it works. If you lean into it. It works.

    Allie: [00:23:21] It works.

    I'm still in this. I'm having symptoms that are different than the ones before, which tells me my body is like, OK, we got that. But also there's this. So I'm like, yeah, great, just keep it coming.

    Nicole: [00:23:34] Um, yep. Well, and healing is not linear and it's also never done.

    Allie: [00:23:37] Mhm. Absolutely. That's the journey.

    Healing is not your chore or something you have to get through. It's the act of being alive and the art of being an ally with this vehicle that we're physically participating with life in.

    And that's one of the biggest lessons for me. And a big piece of the hard shit is seeing my body as an ally instead of an enemy. I hated her and it showed.

    I was having serious issues. Among other things, burning my business to the ground. That's recent. I knew it was coming. I knew it was going to come, but I avoided it. I was like, I'm already burning everything else. Let's keep the fire controlled. For now. I'm in it still.

    But I do believe the worst is over, because at this point I've gone from gripping everything so tight and just understand me, like me. That's not why I'm doing this.

    I would never mean to hurt you. And now I'm just like, let them.

    Nicole: [00:24:41] That detachment is, I think, one of the most healing things that you can do for yourself or anyone can do for themselves. That surrendering to what is what's going to be accepting yourself.

    And we talk about this on Here For Me, self-awareness and self compassion are two of the biggest ways that you can take care of yourself. And recognizing that what's meant for you will come to you, responds to your vibration. It responds to your frequency and the things that don't fall away. And even when that's painful, it's okay. Like you said, it's alignment. It's the way it's supposed to go to see you leaning into that and not judging yourself.

    And I mean, maybe you have moments we all do where you do for a second, but then you catch yourself and then you're like, no, I'm not going to do that because this is who I am and I need to do the hard work to be me.

    Allie: [00:25:27] I also think, as you're talking about that, something else that I've been learning very recently is I think that there's a lot of talk around, like, I just love myself and accept myself. I'm not going to judge myself and yes, to all of that. Yes. And also, let's not act like we're not making mistakes, right?

    I saw this woman. I'm totally blanking on who it was, but I saw her on TikTok the other day. She was like, don't let anybody take your mistakes and regroup them and use them against you. You get that mistake, it's yours. And it made me cry because that was the pain I was feeling when everyone was going in anonymous forums and speaking for me. And, airing, like trusted people, like women that I have supported through them, having babies and moving and getting married that I love.

    That was what hurt. Like, I know you feel betrayed, I get it, but you betrayed me and took my mistakes and used them against me like that's mine to learn from. I've been trying to deal with it, but instead of talking to me, you went and did this.

    So yes, don't judge yourself. Don't look so down on yourself. But making a mistake is a part of life. And you love that mistake. You own it, you deal with it, and you carry it with you in a positive way because it's part of your journey and it's part of you becoming.

    I talk a lot about becoming her, your next level version of yourself. Your mistakes are laying the gravel that make the path of you becoming her. So love them and own them. It's not a secret or a shame.

    Nicole: [00:27:08] And you've done a beautiful job of, it's not so much what happened to me. It's what happened for me. Your mistakes happened for you.

    And I want to talk more about the becoming her journey that you're helping other women on, because you've been on it, of seeing that and going. Oh, exactly. You said it laid the groundwork for me to move to this next level of myself.

    I recently I went through my marriage fell apart last year, and so I went through a divorce as well. And I've said to people, as difficult as that relationship was, as toxic, honestly, as that relationship was, and a lot of people have said, what were you doing in that for so long? Like, why were you there? You should have left a long time ago.

    I said, I would not be on this path that I'm on. He actually gave me the greatest gift anyone ever gave me, which was myself. I had to go through all of those difficult lessons to get to that point.

    So that is exactly right. Your mistakes are happening for you. The real challenge is how do you extract those lessons? Like what am I learning from it? And then take it forward and become the best version of me.

    So talk about what you're doing on the becoming her journey and how you're helping women do exactly this.

    Allie: [00:28:10] Yeah, so my break started at the very beginning of 2022, and I came back in August of 2022. I just was like, okay, we've buried things. I'm going to be super open and woo woo.

    I had an actual ceremony, like I wrote down qualities and things that I would do that I was not okay with the vanilla good girl things. I wrote out who this version of me was, and looking at her on a piece of paper and then knowing my true self, my true personality, my thoughts, my passions, and like what I wanted. And God, they were so different.

    It made sense that I was making myself sick being this person. And so I folded that piece of paper up and set it aside. And then I wrote, um, the names of the people that were either choosing not to come with me on this next phase of life, um, because they were upset or whatever reason, or I knew it wasn't meant to. I didn't write Brian's name. I wrote my marriage, because he's still here with me. I never want to leave.

    So wrote it all down, crumpled it up, and went outside and had a fire in the barbecue and just had a ceremony and released it. I just watched it burn and I felt such overwhelming gratitude.

    It was like something shifted in my body. And I said quietly to myself, like, here the fuck we go. And then I was just like, okay, what now? After the funeral, what now? And I got this idea where I was just like, you know what? That was her. So who's the new her? Who do I want to be?

    And I made this list. It's still in my phone, and it says Becoming Her 2022. And I wrote out every major area of my life like physical self, emotional and mental self, spiritual self, my relationships. And then I got even more specific, my relationship with each of my four kids. My relationship with Brian like that needed to be redefined. What do we do now?

    My relationship with dating in general, how I wanted to show up there. Because I noticed, oh my gosh, I had such trouble speaking my voice around men, which is not good. So like, how do I want to heal there? What work do I want to do there?

    And with money and as a business owner, as a leader, even as so specific as an author, just because books are so different than online content, how do I want to be there? How do I want to write now?

    And what it looked like was this woman that is so wildly in love with herself that it overflows into the other areas. And I could see on the paper, down to the details of drinking lemon water all day, being that girl that goes to the gym because she is enjoying it, not because she's got to do this and we got to hit this goal. Everything that I was writing was not coming from a place of ‘I have to’. It was coming from a place of ‘I get to’.

    I feel so beautiful and so happy to be alive. And now I just love Brian so much. Oh my God, I just love my daughter so much. My boys, oh my god, they're hilarious. I can't wait to go to football with them this weekend. Everything just became more joyful. It's weird.

    Everything just felt like it was lit up and I was lit up.

    So I shared that I was feeling this way online. People were just really into it. And so I was like, okay, I'm just going to keep sharing more as I go. And sharing little pieces of me, like going out dancing. I love to dance and I was really shamed for the style of dance that I liked as a young teenage girl with a developed body. God forbid I, you know, move it. And started going out dancing. I would take myself out to dinner instead of dating, like all the things I never got to do.

    It was so fun. And I was sharing pieces of that online. That was a little over a year ago. And I burned down my old business model and started a new one, The Becoming Her Collective. It's not just helping other women do it, I'm doing it with them, which I think is a huge difference in my old business model to the new one.

    Nicole: [00:32:11] I like how you did this too, because it was authentic. You were sharing pieces of yourself and your evolution, which can feel vulnerable too. But you were like, I'm owning it. People resonated with that. That's how you know it's authentic to who you are. It was a pivot within yourself that is now a pivot reflected in your business.

    Kudos to you for choosing yourself. You know, that's the power of choosing yourself. That's what it means. That's what it looks like.

    Allie: [00:32:37] Thank you. Yeah, it just feels like the other side, for anyone listening that just feels like a mess or feels lost, you're not lost. The feeling of being lost is just a symptom for you to pay attention to. Like chronic headaches. Like it's a symptom for you to look at and be like, well, okay, let's explore this.

    So get excited and get curious because the other side of understanding yourself feels so good.

    Nicole: [00:33:03] Yeah, I want to touch on something that you and I talked about was the concept of jumping timelines. This is something that we were wanting to discuss. It's definitely you were talking about things that are a little bit woo woo. I'm almost two years into what I would describe as a spiritual awakening. You have been through the same thing and I didn't know about this term.

    I didn't know what a spiritual awakening was or a timeline. I don't think you did. When you start sort of reading more about like, what am I going through? Am I losing my mind? You learn these.

    But timeline jumping has quantum roots, and it's essentially a creation modality that allows you to embody the next available version of yourself. And it's often predicated by a Tower Moment. Again, to borrow our terms from tarot, you can't fake it anymore. Your old timeline is either trying to kill you, as both you and I experienced, because you're not embodying that higher level of yourself, and you're missing the point of why you're on earth, or it's keeping you stuck, which feels like a hell of its own.

    It's a wild process, and it feels exhilarating and scary and peaceful all at the same time. And it's so hard to talk about. I think you and I, Allie, talked about this. I've literally stopped discussing it with people, you know, sharing signs or synchronicities or things that are happening to you that you're seeing.

    It's a transformational occurrence. And once you understand what's happening, it can be empowering but also extremely isolating. When you become her, you jump from one timeline to another and you're guiding women on this journey.

    I would love to hear how that manifested for you. And then what you're doing as you realize you're jumping onto a new timeline.

    Allie: [00:34:38] When you try to share this with people, they think you're crazy. And it is crazy in terms of how most people believe things work. Which now I think that's crazy.

    Nicole: [00:34:52] Right? Someone had a shirt on the other day that said The Matrix is a documentary. And I was like, yep, I get it. I know exactly what you're talking about.

    Allie: [00:34:58] Yeah, I see you.

    So I did experience this literally and physically. I had that day that I told you about where I was like, okay, like, how does she live? How does she eat? How does she think? How does she talk about herself?

    I was just so happy to have clarity after so much disconnect with myself and so much cloudiness, the clarity and the permission I gave myself to know myself after a lifetime of disconnection from myself and suppression felt very good.

    And a few days after making that list, I kept rereading it, adding little things here and there and deciding like, I wish there was a guided meditation or something for this.

    And I ended up finding this one that is intended for quantum jumping, quantum leaping, but I didn't fully understand what that meant. Basically, she walks you through this open window in front of you, and you go in and there's all these versions of yourself, like your physical body, and you get to try them on.

    So I was like, that sounds like becoming her. I'm going to try it and I'm going to do it purposely thinking about this list, about these different versions of me and try it on. And then you become her.

    You see yourself laying in your bed and the window behind you, and you actively come back as this new version of yourself and get back in your body and get up and live your life.

    Nicole: [00:36:18] Oh, I love that.

    Allie: [00:36:19] So I did that guided meditation. I was so focused and so present, and I was imagining making my matcha in the morning, being excited, going to the gym and I could see the gym and smiling at everyone because I was so happy to be taking care of this body that has been sending me signals and loved me so well for so long, and the details of my day and hugging my kids goodbye for school. I quite literally walked through my becoming her. And at the end of it I woke up and I am not shitting you. I physically felt different. My body was tingling. I was vibrating so high.

    Nicole: [00:36:56] You jumped the timeline. You went to your new frequency.

    Allie: [00:37:00] From there I had the idea for my new business. I was a little scared of the shift and like, a revenue dip. So I was just like, I think I'm going to fuck around and just manifest six figures so that I can just set it aside, hit six figures easily. Literally everything changed.

    I noticed that weird things would happen. I think you and I talked about this, but I remember specifically the word worthy didn't look like it was spelled right. Like I was like.

    Nicole: [00:37:26] Yes, that is a thing.

    Allie: [00:37:27] How you spell, my own name felt like, wait, how do I spell my name?

    Nicole: [00:37:32] You and I did talk about this because as I was reading about what it means to jump timelines from a quantum perspective, they were like, words will look different to you. You will think they misspelled a logo. And I had just experienced that where I was like, did that logo always look like that?

    And other people will say, yes. And you're like, no, it didn't because you're actually experiencing it. This is really we're going to go there from 5D versus the three D, and you're like, whoa, I'm actually in a different reality. This is The Matrix on steroids.

    Allie: [00:38:02] Yeah, I remember trying to write the word worthy and looking at Brian being like, how the fuck do you spell worthy?

    And I'm the English major, the author. Yeah, you good? I'm like, no, I'm not, I don't know what's happening.

    Nicole: [00:38:15] I'm having some sort of out-of-body experience.

    Allie: [00:38:17] Yes, I am a different version of myself. The mistakes I'm making are more elevated than the mistakes I used to make. The way I view myself is still skewed sometimes, but more elevated than it used to be. I just became a different person.

    Nicole: [00:38:32] I 100% believe it. It's more intentional. And you're also observing with an awareness of this new body in a way, or at least a new mindset.

    Allie:[00:38:41] I have noticed things on my skin. I have had severe scarring from acne and it's lighter, my skin is more dewy. I can't tell if I just feel like I'm looking at myself differently or if I physically changed.

    But there's physical changes, mental changes, emotional changes. I can't listen to certain music anymore.

    Nicole :[00:39:02] Um, I've experienced that. And certain books, like I actually don't really watch TV anymore. And I realized it doesn't resonate with me. Certain music. Certain foods.

    Allie: [00:39:11] Certain foods like, oh my God. Like, it's just it feels like it would be eating this energy of death like it's so low and dark and I don't want it in this body. I am completely changed. It's crazy.

    Nicole: [00:39:25] Well, the way that you have owned your shit leaned into the hard shit, really learned from it. And now you are taking all of this, being honest about it, speaking your truth.

    Standing back, and I feel like you're doing this 35,000 foot view on yourself, which I think is a gift of this kind of a transition and this shift to a higher frequency, a new timeline, and then helping other women walk this journey is inspiring.

    So thank you so much for sharing your story. And if anyone wants to go on this Becoming Her journey, tell us where we can do that.

    Allie: [00:39:59] Absolutely. I created The Becoming Her collective for this purpose. It is a community of women that are all very growth minded. They are done with the dissatisfaction, done settling.

    I describe it as if you're done coasting and you're ready to be on fire. You're not just a mom, you're not just a woman. You are here for so much more than cruising through life, but also letting it feel easy and relaxing and good. Not giving yourself more work to do. You're not working on yourself, you're connecting with yourself.

    Nicole: [00:40:32] It's anti hustle, but leaning fully in.

    Allie: [00:40:35] Yes, absolutely.

    Nicole: [00:40:37] Allie, you are an absolute force in the most beautiful, enlightening, empowering way. Thank you so much for being here today.

    Allie: [00:40:44] Thank you so much for having me.

    Nicole: [00:40:52] Allie Casazza’s story is the ultimate revival of oneself, the kind experienced after a Tower Moment when life as she knew it crumbled. Her marriage, her health. Her public and private communities. Her business.

    But rather than fight it, she accepted it, letting go of it all, making room for what was to come and embarking on the journey she now calls Becoming Her.

    Allie and I spoke in our early conversations about how it feels when things fall away. It sometimes seems like people are dumping you or ghosting you. And if you're the one stepping back, others can perceive it as you cutting them out of your life. Allie mentioned there were people she had hard conversations with and others she just let go. However painful it was or how conflicted she felt.

    It reminded me of something Diana Min shared on her episode of Here For Me. She said the relationships or things that are falling away were in alignment with your old vibration, with your old frequency. As you continue to grow, if things that are with you don't start raising in vibration, it's not in alignment anymore. We have to let go of the ego's attachment to people, places, and things.

    Allie allowed this process to unfold and along the way gleaned insights that would benefit others. One that sticks with me is seeing things not as obligations, but opportunities.

    She now approaches life from a place of “I get to” rather than “I have to.” It's a subtle shift that makes a big difference. We get to wake up. We get to eat this food, live in these bodies, love these people, do this work, embrace this lifetime.

    We get to conquer challenges that raise our vibration and bring us closer to the highest version of ourselves. We get to experience and learn from people, places and things, if only for a season. We get to experience hard times, knowing they have the capacity to revive us and give us the greatest gift we'll ever receive: ourselves.

    Here For Me is produced by Lens Group Media in association with Tulla Productions. As is often said, it takes a village to make this podcast, and my deepest gratitude goes out to every person in that village. Our producers Dave Nelson and Stacy Harris, our audio editor, JD Delgado, designer and illustrator Amy Senftleben, and our production assistant, Sarah Carefoot. If you enjoyed this episode, I'd love it if you'd follow the show, rate, review, and share it with people you love. You can also follow me on Instagram and Facebook at nicolejchristie. Until next time, thank you so much for listening—here's to you being here for you and to the power of choosing yourself.

Nicole Christie
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